Monday afternoon never be this comforting.
I took my sister to a furniture shop to look at their year-end sale — something that a corporate person would never do on typical Mondays. We started to get interested in furniture because we love having coffee in various coffee shops for chillin. Few things that matter when we have coffee is the chair that we sit on, the table in front of us, the ambience, and the design of the shop. We need to at least have furniture and ambience as the top winners, otherwise we would not have it in our go-to list.
Ideally we value ergonomic furnitures (literally, lots of chairs and tables are deemed ergonomic but happened otherwise). The ambience has to keep us stay for more than an hour chatting (even if not, if we come to think that it’s also very nice to stay without particular topics, we’re definitely a true customer). We know that having ergonomic furniture would save us from cardiovascular disease and diabetes, well it least the risk can be minimised, and without a good ambience, we would not even think to have a dine-in.
In the furniture shop, I was sitting in this exquisite couch while my sister was stumbled upon something else in the upper floor. In the middle of enjoying the mixed brown-cream ambience, I looked left to a British family that is arguing on each other on which couch should fit their new house. I have minimum knowledge on how British people tend to buy furnitures, but I like to play my game of imagination inside me. So I observed how they will come up to the decision.
I started with how I see all of them in one simple frame of personality.
The parents have 2 children, male and female, I think they’re maybe around 3 and 4 years old, the sister is the eldest.
The Dad — always be on top of the game. He spoke first, he pointed out first, he compared which colors was best for the family and the house theme, he cared so much about the kids as he looked at their children twice everytime he argued with his wife. He’s very careful and it looked like he’s aware of ergonomic principle, but seemingly not too sensitive about the aesthetics of the furniture.
He prefered a couch that is comfortable for him to watch soccer game or any kinds of sports. Doesn’t matter if it has a good design or not. And he mentioned that he needed to have a particular spot in the couch only for him, so if a particular soccer game plays on TV, he wanted to sit on that spot from the couch. Quite interesting though.
The Mom — looked like a lavish perfectionist. She always fonded of the valuable couch that was comfortable and deserved a high value. Any couch that she picked that I see was a brand new, some of them were overrated for me. I bet she was looking for brand over functionality.
The Eldest Girl —a cheerful being, sometimes demanding for ice cream near the shop lobby or that Frozen’s Elsa pillow that every girl has nowadays. She tended to run here and there with her brother, like they’ve found their playground. I couldn’t observe her interests on the couch because she was too active playing around.
The Young Boy— the most cool boy. Didn’t care what people think or do, but always followed where his sister went. But he looked like the most creative and clever in the family. He knows that every “do not sit” sign means he has to sit on it. At first he’s playing cool — he let his parents argue, but then when he knows what he wants, he has to get it. In this case, a particular folding couch that he pointed out to his parents several times, sort of like an outlier between the parents’ list of choices.
I immediately thought, “looks like a dynamic type of family”. This needs a handful of leadership capability to manage all of their unique dominance. And guess who is the winner from the almost-one-hour arguments?
The Eldest Girl.
Wait, did Elsa save her? Or did she even know which was the best couch?
Nope and nope. It is all about her cheerful traits and the result of her running around with her brother, she passed by one of the salesman. With her confidence, she was able to escort the salesman to provide recommendation to the family which is best for their home, that fit with all of their preferences. In addition, the salesman happened to be an ex Interior Designer, so he was able to take another perspective of color and design of their new home and connect it to which type of couch that most fit.
Hence, the salesman pointed to this twenty-five-percent-off couch that everyone loved.
It’s super comfy for The Dad because for all the coincidences, the couch was displayed in front of the 13" TV and that’s actually the same case happens in their house, hence The Dad could easily visualize what it’s like the be put at home. Though it’s not as luxurious as the other brand new couches, The Mom liked it because it was not an old collection as the salesman said it’s only been one month old (…how lucky). Finally, it of course fit to The Young Boy’s preference because it’s a folding couch!
The Girls then deserved a medal.
Whoa. I didn’t think a simple observation can be this twisted. They do have a really interesting dynamics. Feels like I need to introduce myself before they think I’m creepy.
I learned so much about this family in an hour by noticing a thin line between their similar-but-different characteristics: magic over dominance.
I do believe in magic of leadership, like the Girl with her cheerful mind, she can get a perfect person to become family’s consultant. This wasn’t observed at all, I might be missing some points by observation, but I do think this can be connected with how we see leadership.
Trust the magic.
In the back of every truth, we really don’t know how the truth is made until it performs. Though sometime the result may hurt, but trusting the feeling of creating the result is helpful. That may be sort of magic behind the hurt. In the aftermath, a relief comes.
Stay positive and trust it will go well, not always, but still well.
A point of potential speaks.
If we trust the magic in every leadership, we will see a small point of potential, if you see it carefully. Start by thinking something different as an interesting story, like we see difference in people (or like I see difference in the family). Dynamics creates a story, maybe will create a potential that has yet been unleashed, just wait and see.
Produce addiction to the addition.
Once you see the magic and once you see the potential, trust me, you’ll get addicted of how the story will tell you next. I feel like I should come by to their house and befriend with them, and eventually befriend with their dynamics. I’d be interested in listening to how The Dad and The Mom built the culture of the interestings!
Comforting place, comforting day, and comforting insight. Now I’m looking for the next Eldest Girl to share their magic with me. Who’s in?
